shit movies are gorgeous
it has been a while since my last movie in general. any recommendations for the upcoming weekend. good or bad i would love to review.
The devil inside
The devil within
Granted I started this to watch every movie I can that is basically pure shit and warn who ever reads this god awful blog to avoid such and such. But you know what I love all kinds of movies and decided to watch something decent for once and talk about all the wonderful moments I had between me and the big screen.
Much like many people I am sure while watching the trailers and giving them a critique with our friends debating what to watch in the coming weeks I sat and watched a trailer by the name of the devil inside with a fellow chum and it basically blew my mind. It offered the illusion that a good exorcism movie can be made by watching such a demonic woman scream and injure almost everyone around. Basically became a shoe in for a midnight release in my heart and I prepared and waited.
I will warn you that spoilers may be thrown around here and there so if you don’t enjoy ruining how a movie plays out. I highly recommended scrolling all the way down for a final critique that may help on your decision for movie nights.
This was it I couldn’t be any more excited to watch this movie in my comfy seat sitting next to a gorgeous girl, I mean what more can I man ask for. The movie starts off with a news reel explaining how the lady in the trailer ended up in a cookie bin after murdering 3 people in her home. I fairly enjoyed this style of an introduction kind of gives it a nice punch allowing you to simply explain it all and jump right into the movie after those 5 minutes of the entire introduction you really need.
PLOT
After ten or so years the movie follows her daughter Isabella in a mockumentary style trying to follow hits such as the Blair witch project or paranormal activity and cash in while these things are becoming hot similar to the super hero or book to movie frenzy that has caught Hollywood. It offers a guaranteed profit with a low budget film. But I digress I will explain more on this later.
The daughter goes to Italy because her mom was sent there for a random reason she doesn’t know to find out people are getting rejected on getting an exorcism for some random reason and so on. During her visit she enters a class about exorcisms and basically fills in the rest of the movie for us by showing us who will help her, what type of possession is occurring, and who will get possessed by the end of the movie.
CHARACTERS
We have the daughter, 2 priests, and the camera guy as our main protagonists in this horrific flick. And of course the mom who I was surprised they did not get as much into as I expected because her character is what got me into watching this movie and all of her scenes were quite intense, making her the only person the least interesting. The other guys on the other hand had their fair share of dialogue, that was decently scripted and I am sad to say I enjoyed listening to the conversations they had going on.
Format
As mentioned earlier it was filmed in similar formats as paranormal so if you like that it then I recommended watching especially since I find they made it more interesting then paranormal I actually stayed awake throughout this movie compared to that. But there are flaws that happen when you make a movie like this. If the camera man is missing or excluded from the scene than you can’t see what’s going on. I had a conversation about this with my friend while talking about FP or 3rd Person view on films and which we find better and I reluctantly said FP because I like feeling as if I am in it but now that I give it more thought here are a few things I would have liked to see in the movie that I was unable to because of the missing camera.
A scene when the mother had her first visit from her daughter and began speaking of all the details in her life she shouldn’t have been aware of and hands her a picture she painted of an exact pic her daughter brought creating enormous tension. And after a little she snaps and the demon takes over the camera man and her daughter are kicked out of the room and the doctors close a door preventing the slightest sight in. Now this is a particular scene I would love to see how the mother changes and what she would have done to her own daughter instead I had to settle with the camera man saying that was freaky and off to the apartment they go. Another scene is when officers come to arrest the priests and the possessed priest remains in his room and an officer gets his gun stolen and runs out. How did he take the gun is something I would ask myself for a week at least especially since the officer came out without a mark on him.
Besides some interesting scene shots the FP point of view kind of makes the movie feel choppy with random blurred out portions and such even when it comes done to the slowest movements.
Final Critique
One thing you might be thinking of while reading is even though he may like hearing the conversations which is nice after all movies without dialogue suck, but what scared me the most. Well there is a reason I did not mention a frightful scene because it was all very well mellowed and for a scary movie that is supposed to be the next exorcism extravaganza that was highly disappointing. I remember my friend talking about how scared she will be and how we might not being able to see only to walk out of the theatre and hearing her say “I’m sorry Geo.” (Som 11:30pm Jan. 5)And with such a weak ending I mean they really just wanted the movie to end and you can tell they were either running out of a budget or an idea with that shit filled ending that released a roar of BOOOS from the audience. Especially since they were heading out to meet a new character, which may have been a badass and resulted with death before confronting him.
Frankly I was expecting to see a movie instead I give this at least a 6.5 out of ten because I enjoyed the mother scenes and some of the dialogue that followed but without a scream from my panicking friend it was a huge let done to be called a horror flick. Hell you know what if you want to watch a great movie watch HUGO or The Muppets, hell even Tin Tin because those are actually worth paying for. I suggest you wait till this shit shows up on TV or fi you can’t wait red box this garbage.
This is Geo saying, I can’t believe I tried avoiding the filth I’m destined to watch.
Clash of the titans
Who will Win
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
Finally a movie that has come out to answer the day old question that we ask ourselves every day of our lives, who do you think will win a prehistoric shark or octopus? This question has left many people staggered in thought. But thanks to the world of Hollywood and the glorious SYFY network , I was able to watch this blissful movie that is by far pumped with so much action I can barely keep my hands still to write this review. Alas I shall do my best to bring you the review of a life time here is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
For those interested on the plot, it is as follows:
1. Octopus is released from ice caps (probably global warming or penguin raid)
2. Blame the shark
3. Both cause havoc
4. Insanity ensues
5. (Spoiler alert) the world wins
6. Or do they
Now that you got the gist of what the movie is all about I shall carry on my rambles on different aspects of what makes a movie as great as this one a must not watch. That is of course if you are avoiding shitty movies and if not by all means a must see for one simple purpose how often will a shark and octopus duke it out on screen while attacking battle ships not very often I assume.
>Characters<
Characters are a base of every movie and this movie creates the most generic man #1, followed by generic man #2, and so on. I shall explain what I mean right after I get done with the main people that matter. First one off to bat is a lady named Emma played by Deborah Gibson who is depicted as a smart ass unattractive scientist. It seems they were trying to please the feminist group by offering a strong female character to take the bull by its horns and solve every problem that is thrown her way.
Secondly there is random Asian scientist, I’m not sure if they ever said his name or if I stopped caring once they introduced him but he was on screen long enough to be considered a main in movie land to avoid the common death. Sadly enough he was my favorite character, he was a mixture of Mako Tsunami (Yu Gi Oh) and Alex Delarge (A Clockwork Orange). Can you imagine a fisherman’s kid talking about the sea and all of a sudden pull off one hell of a pick-up line that actually works by the way movie tested reviewer approved. And for any daring men who meets a meteorologist feel free to try it. It goes as follows, “your no stranger for pressure, being in a submarine seems kind of tense (stare followed by sexing)” then answer her reply with this Girl “that felt good”, Asian “so did you”. Love the Japanese.
Now on with the generics characters we love walking on our background screen. If you have seen Star Trek or Galaxy Quest you know what a good generic character, o those loveable people that show up on the screen to mainly die and explode in a flurry of mediocre excitement. In this movie we have the separation of GI generic and civilian generic. On the GI side you have scientist and soldiers/agents. You know that you are a scientist if you are walking in a white lab coat, can’t leave your house without one (glasses optional). As for the soldiers it’s all about the shades. Daytime, nighttime, in a dim light room it doesn’t matter they can’t tell if you’re on duty unless your shades are kicking. Hell even Pilots be wearing the shades that’s just how the world works in mega titan movies, you need badass all the way. The rule is you might as well try to look cool, especially when you die like a pussy.
>scenery<
Well this movie pretends it likes to travel all over the world by showing random bases with stunner shades guarding the entrance. But it basically revolves around a submarine and a single closet. But you get a nice view of our virtual reality ocean and it is always nice year round except near Florida it seems. And a must to mention is a sign located on an oil drilling site out at seas that states “Smokers- practice good housekeeping put em here on an oil drilling site”
>Movie style<
If you want action look no further this movie will deliver some of the most outrageous action sequences that will make you craving for more. This would hold true if they were not so funny to watch. Just imagine this an airliner taken down by a shark now where is Samuel Jackson when you need him, or even the epic fighting sequence between the submarine and the shark that re used the same scene in the ten minute sequence up to 8 times. The movie even made research look badass by flashing a white blinding light at you every 10 seconds showing random button mashing and even a quick tea time. Now that’s what I call action.
>Overall experience<
I will personally give this movie 7 out of 10 on a shit movie scale, why because it’s so bad you can laugh about it later, when you talk to your friends about what you just experienced in the past 89 minutes of your life. Who knows you might learn something, I know I did. Having sex can bring a solution to destroying prehistoric sharks. Thank you Random Asian guy.
This is your loveable reviewer saying; let me endure the pain you want to avoid.
How Awful about Geo
How awful about Allan, movie review
The movie follows a man named Allan (Anthony Perkins) as he returns home after becoming traumatized from a fire that killed his father. For me Anthony Perkins a hunk of a man is the only reason I need to watch a movie. But besides a solid actor like Anthony Perkins the music mixes well with the scenarios that occur during his journey in the movie. This movie is difficult to review without spoilers because it is filled with twists that make you jump right out of your seat.
This movie is at least worth a look if you are interested in a mind bender mystery film to watch with the gang or if you want to have a nice movie to intensify those lonely nights. Parts in the movie will make you wish you had a companion with you at all times such as when Allan began to hear his voice by the stairs and a mysterious figure began to pull him and end his misery.
I will give this movie 7.5 out of 10 mostly because the movie feels like it begins to drag midway especially after following such a dramatic start. But you will feel yourself becoming attached to Allan hoping he will soon figure out who or what is torturing his stay. Prepare yourself for a real twist that M. Knight should take a page or two from.
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ELECTRONICA
Paranormal activity 3 movie review
The movie follows the main protagonist Dennis (new father) while he is trying to uncover what is causing all the paranormal activity. The movie is constructed much like the previous movies i.e. watching as it is being filmed in “real time” creating suspense that intensifies the horror factor as you wait for the next day to arrive.
The movie begins with Katie bringing (pregnant) Kristi a box of old movies filmed by their father Dennis, revealing the childhood trauma they wanted to forget. The movie follows by flipping through scenes of a birthday party followed by redecorating of the house, so far the movie starts with all smiles with a carefree family. The characters begin to develop right at the point when Dennis and Julie decide to make a sex tape (go figure) and as the sexuality begins to ensue a random earthquake occurs and dust is kept on screen leaving a figure that vanishes instantly.
The father notices this aspect that the wife decides to completely ignore, while Dennis goes on the extreme opposite and sets up cameras all around the house. Dennis gets help from his friend Randy on reviewing the tapes mostly for the sake of witty comments.
After reviewing the movies with Randy they found the Kristi was talking to Toby the ghost and began to question her about this but Toby. Later on Dennis finds markings on the closet ceiling asking Randy to find books on this matter. The both conclude it was from a covenant of witches trying to bring demons into our world or something of another. Dennis mentions that the symbol is similar to grandmas’ necklace but no real connection is made by him when they later on drive to her house for sanctuary. (Spoiler alert) The old ladies begin their ritual and throw Julie down the stairs, and make Dennis extra flexible by bending him in half.
This movie meant well to scare those I hope it did at least but I couldn’t help but find myself in the position of wanting to get up and leave the theatre. I was falling asleep and the only scary parts that woke me up a bit were when Julie jumped out of the closet to scare Randy and Dennis. Every other attempt that involved the ghost including the much disappointed bloody Mary scene was a huge let down. This movie is on at least a fifteen day time span and it only gets decent when you hit day twelve or so, meaning you have to sit through an hour of shit before you are slightly entertained. Unless you are weak hearted and frighten easily I don’t recommend watching this for the screams instead you will get yawns and if you want to see it for insight on the story wait till its rentable or you will feel cheated out and wondering what exactly you paid to see.
On a side note I thought the demon was actually a child molester half way, such as when he was crawling up the girls bed from underneath and when he wanted to marry one and the such did any else get this feeling I know my roommate did and she began to scream “get out he is going to rape you” and ” it’s not ghosts I am afraid of its child molesters”.
I would love to hear your comments about this movie. More reviews to come hopefully a decent movie as well.
loving reviewer
